I wish my well of tears would finally run dry
If only I could ascend up into the blue sky
And forget all of my unfulfilled dreams
Knowing that life is never what it seems

Love, the brass ring we all reach for
Everyone's looking for something more
Like emotional vampires we need to feed
Never caring about the cost of our greed

Selflessness and responsibility are out of style
Just grab what you can and enjoy it for a while
We give and we give and take what we can get
We mortgage our hearts and are left with the debt

Bitterness and shame worm their way in
An emotional battleground where nobody wins
I wish I could get off this crazy ride
And float on my back, away with the tide

He came uninvited
Into my home
Into my world
He stole things
Only things
Things that can be replaced

He was in my room
In my underwear drawer
He went where he doesn't belong
Invading my privacy
Without thought or care

He took things that I need
Irreplaceable things
He stole my peace of mind
He took my illusion of safety
He had no right
He left me feeling
Violated

The soul of one so caring
The beauty I hear in her smile
A heavy load she is bearing
She does so with grace and style

The words that she speaks
Taste sweet on my tongue
She's everyone's hero
As of yet unsung

She sees what others miss
With her knowing cerulean eyes
And with a soft gentle kiss
I float into her skies

I adore the feeling of almost scalding water beating against my back.
Being surrounded by that welcoming warmth makes me feel purified, baptized.
All I can hear is the crash of water against the shower walls as my mind drifts
To happy times.

I watch you when you work
You are so sure of yourself
Powerful, vibrant, beautiful
I've seen you sick and dying
I wouldn't let you give up
I've seen you angry and fighting
But I never let you down
I love your daughter like my own
Somehow we became friends, a team
Then something happened between us
You started to look at me
With startling intensity
In your gorgeous green eyes
Where unspoken words and truths lurk
My thoughts of you always linger
Bittersweet in my memory
For so long I have denied it
But I find it harder with time
Because I hear you whisper I love you
In every look you send me
In every veiled sentence
And in all you do for me
We seem to almost get things together
Almost, but not..
I'm engaged to be married
But I need you
I love you
And what's worse is that
I want you, I want all of you
I cry in my bedroom
Missing our family desperately
In my wedding dress
Wearing his ring
It feels so heavy
Until I look in the mirror
And you smile at me
And tell me I'm beautiful
When I'm with you I'm a superhero
When I'm with you I feel like I can fly

Wanting

I watch you with unabashed adoration
I watch you with insurmountable pain
I know who you are and all you can be
You always seem to see the best in me
I was so scared for you to know the truth
How this love sneaked up on me so easily
How friendship turned into more
Denial is an ugly thing because
The more I push you towards him
The further my heart splinters
My eyes once intense in their glare
Now soft with tender adulation
Of your beauty and your kindness
And everything that you are
Inside I seethe with unsaid words
I weep when no one is watching
I know you can tell I know you can see
Even if I don't speak the words
You only need look into my eyes to hear
I love you, I love you, I love you
My eyes whisper to you insistently
As I watch your love for my child
I love you, I want you, you're beautiful
I know you can hear my thoughts
As we stare at each other in the mirror
You're happiness is my happiness
I tell you as my heart contracts
I hold my tongue, I choke on my feelings
I drown in my desire to make you mine
So scared I'll lose you completely
But the moment our eyes lock together
I feel I might die of wanting

People are so complicated
And situations are messy
Thoughts float across my mind
Like water lilies on an unstoppable river
Who I am isn't who I should be
Confusion and generalizations
Are an every day occurrence
Talented people sit alone writing
Singing songs I would have never heard
Living lives I will never know
Talk, talk, and talk some more
Listening has become overrated
In this world, in this world
Imagination and creativity
Intelligence and optimism
Lie at my feet in a garbage bin
Waiting to be used, not ignored
I can't move my hands far enough
Inside of me to be able to reach
The untapped potential inside
The unmapped contours of my heart
And my mind

It's night time now
It's playtime
The time that I'm alive
When I can feel my blood pumping
I can hear the rain falling
I can see the fog rising
I can hear the breeze
And the wheels on puddles
And very little else
The night is my time
The peace I find
Brings me the closest I'll ever be
To knowing purity


Below she sleeps
While dreamers dream
Simple and beautiful
Her steady heartbeat
The breath in her chest
Rise and fall
Over and over
As I fall for her
Over and over

That undeniable feeling filling up your heart
That unbelievable reeling when you're about to fall apart
That previous misconception that everything was alright
That momentous recollection when you were blind but now had sight
That complete and abject confusion that terrified your dreams
That thinly veiled illusion that nothing is as it seems
That moment of recognition that she'd always been there
That moment you realized you couldn't help but stare
That time when she smiled and you thought you might combust
That day when your focused gaze could no longer hide the lust
That phone conversation when you reveled in her chuckle
That time when you saw her and felt your knees begin to buckle
That darkness you felt when you thought her love was fleeting
That second right before you felt your heart stop beating
Love Love Love
Nothing can stop it now
Love Love Love
No force in the universe knows how
Love Love Love
I can feel her calling my name
Love Love Love
My life will never be the same

She sits at her desk
Computer screen alight
She knows she won't be getting
Any good sleep tonight

Her eyes become unfocused
Reading words she'll never find
Not knowing love like that
Not having ties that bind

The music leaves her heart full
The words leave her empty
The sunflower seeds she eats
Keeps her mouth merely busy

Playing a part for everyone
Putting on a good act
Trying to play with a deck of cards
That she knows someone else has stacked

Writing brings inspiration
And the comments people write
Lately are the only things
That bring any respite

Working is overrated
And love is under felt
She waits for the two of hearts
Eventually it will get dealt

There once was a woman named Callie
Who married a guy named O'Malley
It turned out okay
Cuz she's actually kinda gay
Which is right up the fangirls alley.


Sadness creeps into her beautiful soul
Little by little she feels less whole
He cheats, chipping off a few peices
While her self confidence inevitably decreases

She makes a friend who she likes alot
A woman she wants when she thinks she should not
It ends rather abruptly when Erica leaves
Another piece gone as she grieves

She picks herself up and tries to walk tall
But all she can manage is a slow crawl
A blond in a bathroom gives her some hope
A kiss and a reason for her not to mope

She works up the courage to ask the blond out
She gets rejected and in creeps self doubt
Her persistence is remarkable as she tries again
Arizona will be hers, the only matter is when

Beautiful words whispered in my ear
The warmth of your breath falls softly upon me
Your sweet voice is all I ever want to hear
The lips that speak are an unknown entity

I can hear your mouth curve into a smile
You speak directly to my heart
I close my eyes for a little while
The thrum within me quickly starts

Foolish me I'll never be the one
To hold your interest as I hold your hand
Life is a race we all have to run
But some of us never learned to stand

Crawl for me, to me, in me, with me
Pull me up towards the clouds on high
Together we can float without gravity
Refreshed, I let out a contented sigh

Snow in the early morning
Darkness still holds its sway
Fluffy white trickles from the heavens
The ground covered and sparkling
The streetlamp is the only light
The snow falls through it softly
Staring at it moving through and into
The light almost seems to hold the snowflakes
Suspended for a moment in time
A beautiful optical illusion
When the snow continues its descent
The ground awaits it
To cushion it's fall

I feel her touch
My heart beats fast
My body shivers
I hope it lasts

The intensity of her gaze
Love flows from her eyes
As she kisses me softly
The soul never lies

To crawl inside of her
If only I could see
What lies behind her smile
To what is meant to be

Her lust warms me fully
Like the flames of a fire
Licking at me slowly
Wrapping me in desire

Today's favourite quote from today's favourite drink..

Your winsome smile will be your sure protection.

Other quotes of interest I stumbled upon..

A soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.

She’s found that behind a cigarette is where she can best hide her blazing nerves, that the stinging smoke in her eyes keeps the tears away.

Nice aren't they?


Poem:

Slick and sweet
Across your lips
My tongue glides
Hot breathy gasp
I grin and chuckle
You taste like cream soda

Under my eyes
Only blackness
My mind blanketed
I am so tired

I'm so sick of it
Of being the one
To lay my cards
On the table

It's always me
Having to be
The one
To let her know
To make her feel
Wanted

I want to feel
Wanted
And loved
And pursued

I'm sick of it
Always being
The open one
Always being
The brave one
Why can't I meet
She who pursues
Me

Her eyes dark, glow like the moon
Her smile feels like sunshine on my face
Her voice, the sweetest of melodies
Her laugh, like twinkling stars
To one day be able to reach out to her
Would be like watching the sun rise
The thought of what her lips taste like
Keeps me awake thinking of the night sky
And me a falling star wishing for home

There once was a girl named Roxanne
Who was propositioned by a she-man
She didn't know what to say
On her profile it said she was gay
And therefore penis be banned